“There is not a piece of constructive legislation in the world, not a solitary attempt to meet a complicated problem, that we do not now regard more charitably for our efforts to get a right result from this apparently easy and peurile business of fighting with tin soldiers on the floor.”
H G Wells, Little Wars
I’ve had a few days off this week after my kidney-stone adventures, and Sam decided it would be therapeutic for me to spend the time helping him make Warhammer scenery. This seemed like a good excuse to photograph some of the ever-expanding armies which are slowly invading every flat surface in his bedroom and my office.
The craze began at the end of last year, with Warhammer goblins vs some magnificent (and considerably cheaper) Warlord Games Romans. I’d have liked to get Sam playing Celts, but apparently Boadicea in a war-chariot and her hordes of hairy warriors aren’t thrilling enough for the youth of today. Still, I suppose these wierd little greenies whirling their unfeasible chain-maces are rather jolly…
(Here we see them struggling for control of a Pictish standing stone which was actually my consolation prize for not winning the Angus Book Award a few years ago.)
But oh dear, just as I was starting to get my head around the arcane Warhammer rules (do they really need to be that complicated?) Sam was seduced by the futuristic variant, Warhammer 40,000. He inherited a shoebox full of assorted tanks and figures, and now the goblins are getting some R&R while space nazis with guns the size of crocodiles battle it out against, er… other space nazis with guns the size of crocodiles.
I get to play and paint the orcs (or ‘orks’ as games Workshop has taken to calling them), whose huge, rusty guns and ramshackle fighting machines wouldn’t look at all out of place in the WoME. Unfortunately they never seem to actually hit anything, and most of our battles end with them fleeing in disarray before Sam’s unstoppable hand-me-down armoured divisions.
“Get back to work, Reeve!”
But not to worry; they look fantastic, and painting them has put me in the mood to start painting some pictures of my own again, the first time I’ve felt like doing that for about ten years. If they turn out well I’ll post some on the blog. If not, I’ll go back to playing with toy soldiers on the floor. Maybe if these chaps had some kind of tank...